They have an inability to nurture and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able restrain. .
For the borderline personality there is a constant difficulty in holding onto a consistent sense of one's self. At times one feels that they are a good person and at other times as if they are entirely bad and useless. This black and white swinging thinking is also projected onto others disturbing their relationships greatly.
Instability is the aspect that most characterizes borderline personality. Their emotions are unstable, often fluctuating wildly for no perceivable reason. Their thinking may be very rational and clear at times, and then quite psychotic at other times. They may suddenly quit a job and withdraw into isolation, feeling that they are a failure.
Their behavior is unstable, often with periods of excellent productivity, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of babyishness and selfishness. .
Object-relations Theory.
The developmental theories of Mahler and Kernberg, and Masterson offer a perspective on BPD that finds its roots in the early relationship experience of the child.
Freud's model held that a newborn infant is driven by animal instincts, such as hunger, thirst, and pleasure, but cannot relate to others. Relationships with others according to his perspective only developed later in the course of satisfying those needs. In this sense, Freud's model considers relationships to be secondary. .
Object Relations Theory was originated in England by a group of British psychoanalysts, including Klein, Balint, Fairburn, Winnicott, and Guntrip (Fox, 1996). Object relations theory was distinctive from Freud's drive model. Object Relations, In contrast to Freud's understanding, is a set of theories that are based on the foundation that relationships, beginning with the mother-infant dyad, are primary, and that intrapsychic, interpersonal, and group experiences offer the basis for the development of individual identity.