Jimmy knew that every one of his men carried personal items which broke the conformity with which he was obligated to view his men, as mere parts of the whole. The letter burning was symbolic of his desire for there to be only unity: not individuals, soldiers: not friends. He did not want to carry emotional attachments, which could taint the soldiers" ability to stay completely focused on the war and possibly cause another death as a result of carelessness. He even dropped a pebble that Martha gave to him, which he kept in his mouth while he dreamt of the two of them together and him actually kissing her mouth instead of just tonguing the pebble. Jimmy gave up his blurred line of reality and fantasy to try to be the confident and skilled leader that he strove to be. .
His old self conflicted with the leader required to maneuver and save his men with dignity and bravery. He had a huge "capacity for grief" that the other men recognized stating, "the man does care.it was real heavy-duty hurt"(17). Jimmy also blamed himself for Kiowa's death, and as with the memories of the men alive, the guilt of their death lingered throughout the novel. Although the men made comments like, "Nobody's fault. Everybody's" (O"Brien 176), Jimmy still laid out the letter to send to Kiowa's family accepting full responsibility for his death, but daydreamed about "a golden afternoon on the golfcourse,.a world without responsibility" (178). Many years later, Jimmy Cross and Tim O"Brien meet up and talk about the war and what has happened since. Jimmy still loved Martha and still had not forgiven himself for Ted Lavender's death. He had met up with Martha, slightly disgusted her with his confession of almost grabbing her and tying her up just to touch the knee that he lusts after all those times at war, decided against his urges once again and settled for the same picture that he had burned up once. He still had it framed in his house, which he brought out to show Tim.
