The love or hatred for one's country has been placed in works of writing throughout the ages. Two examples of this can be found in two poems titled "The Long Voyage" and "Breathes There The Man." In "Man," the author portrays a person who does not love his country and rather would concentrate on himself than give to the land he lives on. In "Voyage," the author portrays the complete opposite. Here, he speaks in first-person of loving his country with relief and tranquility. "Voyage," due to its tone, the use of the senses, and sentence structure is the better poem. "Man," on the other hand, has poor sentence structure, fails to use the senses, and the tone of the poem leaves the reader confused and hopeless.
When the reader first reads "Breathes There The Man," he may find himself short of breath. The reason for this is the choppy sentence structure and the overuse of commas. The sentences just do not flow. Instead the reader constantly finds himself short of breathe for the extremely long sentences, with constant pauses for the over twenty-five commas used in this sixteen line poem. .
Not only that, but the author fails to regard the senses, which in essence is the key to all good poetry. Most writers understand that is better to show the reader instead of just telling the reading. I am told of how this person in this poem feels; I never once actually feel what this man feels. How can I enjoy a poem of a person whom I do not understand? Instead I begin to despise this imaginary man in the poem, for the negative energy he expresses.
With that, the tone of "Man" is very angry and unfulfilling. The author of the poem wanted to express anger through the poem, only making the poem more difficult for the reader to read and comprehend.
After I read "The Long Voyage," a sense of relief filled my body and soul. Each sentence within the poem flowed with the next. The commas were not overused and the author used a rhythm to keep a beat within the poem itself.
