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Blood for Oil!: a satirical essay


            Protestors are clamoring "No Blood for Oil."" President Bush is pushing for war with Iraq, apparently because of the dangers of nuclear weapons. But we all know his high minded goals are just a fazade to gain the control of the lucrative oil reserves. We have already established the cost of war -billions of dollars for equipment, and thousands of innocent men and women will be sent halfway around the world to fight a war for purely greedy economic reasons. Now, I am just as reluctant about shedding American blood as the next guy, but exactly how much oil and how much blood are we talking about? I mean if its 30 gallons of American blood for a gallon of oil, what sane man would agree to terms like that? However, if it's more like 50 gallons of oil for every pint of American blood, then I'd say, lets get down to business. In the first Gulf War, around 300 Americans lost their lives. Figuring the average American loses about 8 pints of blood per death, it amounted to one pint of American blood for every 60 million gallons of oil from Saddam. If we think about it, it was actually a very good deal. If this new war could push the price of Exxon Regular Unleaded to below 1.19 a gallon, think of the possibilities. .
             We also have to take into account, exactly what kind of blood are we talking about? I mean we obviously don't want to waste any "O- type blood, after all, it is the universal donor and we need it for medical reasons. However, if it is the useless "AB- type blood, it may be well worth considering. After all, we don't have any real need for "AB- type blood, and Saddam hasn't specified what type of blood he wants, so the "AB- trash might very well satisfy him. Also, as a plus, we would be purifying the American blood stock. .
             To some, the reason as to why one would so easily risk and give up his or her life remains a mystery. We've all seen beggars on streets and heard of criminals sentenced for life well these people don't have a real need for life.


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