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My Dad


            
             Brandt, my step dad, has many wonderful characteristics. He is caring, funny, patient, smart, athletic, and very responsible. He is an interesting looking man who recently made it "over the hill-. His hair is black and gray and real thick everywhere except the bald spot on top. His face is rugged and burnt red with a mustache resembling Wyatt Earp or an old pirate. He also has this inter tube tummy probably caused by drinking too much. He usually covers his belly up with raggedy old shirts in dull colors. Unfortunately, at home he only wears his briefs and it makes stomachs turn. When he wears pants they are always torn and he's had them for twenty years. He wears socks all the time, even to bed. He also smells like onions, which is very unpleasant. .
             Despite his appearance he isn't out of shape. This cop doesn't waste time talking things over either. I am not one who respects authority on command. I expect an equal respect from him, which continues to be a problem in our house. So, when Brandt demands that I take out the trash or get him a beer, a conflict arises and a physical fight usually follows. I have yet to win one of these fights, so I run and soon find I am beat once again. When I was twelve, I shoved a paperclip into an electrical socket and blew out the school's air conditioning. I was so scared to face my step dad that I hid in a closet for 2 1/2 hours. He eventually found me and snatched me up like a twig; I couldn't sit for a week. Running was out of the question so I fought as hard as I could and even then was overpowered. After that day I had no question about his athletic ability. This surprised me though considering he never exercises, although he mows the yard quite frequently. .
             Mowing is one of his favorite things to do but unlike most people, he wears cowboy boots, a cowboy hat and daisy duke shorts when he mows. He is always responsible and has to make sure everything is perfect.


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