As my grandmother lay dead in her bed, I had come to a conclusion about the choices she made once she found out she was terminally ill. Home hospice care was a much more humane way of facing death than in a nursing home. Many factors make up the sum as to why in my experience this is true. When a loved one is terminally ill with no chance of recovery, the family and loved one's have to choose the care program that will provide for them until the inevitable death. To me the choice was not so easy. Should my family put my grandmother in a nursing home or do home hospice? .
We put my grandmother in a nursing home that was close by her house so we (my parents, brother and grandpa) we would have close easy access to her. This seemed to work out at first. The access was not that easy.
The nursing home had strict visitation schedules that were held to like the running of a train schedule. Even if you had a good excuse they would not let you in to see your loved one. They would say that it "disrupts" the other patients by having the schedule changes and odd visitors. It seemed to me that they would welcome a break in the routine; at least my grandmother voiced this to me.
"Will you come tonight after dinner?" she would say to me.
"You know that only on Tuesday and Thursday can I visit late, and I will ask, again as usual, to extend the visitation hours." I exclaimed, dreadfully.
Strangers would be in the room with her. She shared a room with another lady who was also terminal. No chance at recovery and she was never conscious, or at least my grandmother had never spoke to her more than hello. She said hello in the morning and slept the days away. My grandmother needed more companionship then "hello". They would have guests that would be polite and courteous, but they might have well been strangers to us. My grandmother would ask why she cannot have a roommate that at least can spend the day with her talking, watching t.
