Evaluation has always been very important to me. I constantly evaluate and re-evaluate myself, my friends, my schoolwork, and so forth, almost to the point of critism. I am ruthlessly self-critical and it is only natural that this same criticism would extend to those I consider my friends. Before I can become friends with someone, I have to determine whether or not I want to be friends with them and why. If one's own needs in a relationship are not met then it is impossible for them to fulfill others. The first step is the establishment of common ground. It is very unlikely that I will become even casual friends with someone who I have nothing in common with. .
The more we have in common the more likely we are to become friends. The first thing I look for is loyalty if I can't trust a person to keep a secret then there is no need to form a friendship. The second thing I look for is intelligence. Part of my personality is the love of intelligence, which means doing things well in varying circumstances. A very important part of a friendship for me is intellectual stimulation. If it is missing, the friendship will invariably begin to fade. So loyalty and intelligence are two things I look for almost immediately in a new acquaintance. Sheree possesses both of these qualities and she possesses them in areas that we both find interesting. We share a love for the sciences. This contributed greatly to me finding her worthy to be my friend. .
Knowledge and loyalty alone make a person boring, so I also look for common personality traits. A love of humor is also necessary, as is a low degree of self-monitoring, the degree to which people change to match their surroundings. I am extremely low in that area as I tend to act the same in any situation. An actor would have an extremely high degree of self-monitoring. I also look for a slight callousness in potential friends. Someone who cannot take or give criticism will not last long in a friendship with me.
