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Friendship


            The definition of friendship is as subjective and diverse as the people of this world. Each person has a relationship with another person and that relationship is unique to that combination. Friendships grow and change as each individual will, and the definition of friendship grows and changes with each progressive relationship.
             When I was very young, I had been told not to talk to strangers.
             Although I understood the potential for danger, I couldn't help thinking that I might be letting someone important slip by if I didn't extend my friendship. In church, I would peek my head over the pews and smile at one or two of the people standing there. Most of the people would smile back at me, and I don't think there was a better feeling in the world. There I was, maybe two or three years old, and I was capable of making adult friends without using a single word. Sunday after Sunday I would try out my smile on new people or launch it without thinking to the familiar faces. Back then, my definition of friendship was broad enough to include the relationship I had with anyone at all who might smile at me.
             Later, in grade school, it became more difficult to get and keep friends. At the time, I felt I was the only one experiencing sudden shifts in the tide, but as I reflect on my early friendships, I think that each of us as young people are subjected to the fickle nature of children who are defining and redefining friendship, experimenting with identity and imagining themselves, almost daily, as a different person. We defined ourselves by dress and speech as well as by our cliques and acquaintances, so our friends were often accessories to our moods. Hearts were broken, but most of the time they were also quickly healed. Few people stood out as committed companions. They were the ones who managed to fluctuate mood and identity in tandem, and so were able to accompany each other on the journey to identity.


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