Ning often wondered, "If I had been allowed to go to school how different my life would have been. I might have been somebody in the world" (25). Knowing a woman's role in the society, she honored her parent's decision and married the man they had arranged for her. Although her husband had sold her possession and her daughter, she still felt that she could not "betray" her husband. A statement at the beginning of the book revealed her belief in pre-destiny in which she says, "Within the common destiny is the individual destiny. That destiny is fixed by heaven, by the stars in their course. Only as one lives does the pattern of one's life show forth" (13). .
It is essential to recognize the importance of the family throughout the Chinese culture. From the book, we learned that Ning spent her lifetime trying to remain close to her children and grandchildren. It was a great pride for the elders to see her children and grandchildren growing up and doing well. The family value weighed more than anything. We see that Ning had given up many opportunities and good offers, because she had to care for her family and could not leave them behind. She wanted to make the best of her daughter's life, so she arranged her marriage with a young man who was expected good fortune. But it turned out that the son-in-law was "useless" (159). Ning protected her daughter like a mother would and helped to raise her grandchildren. She had only wished for the best for her daughter and she felt the sadness for her daughter's marriage. Even though Ning's family was poor, they were always close to her and she was thankful for heaven had given her a good family.
I find that Ning, although she believes that her destiny had been set for her, had gained more control of her own life as she grew up, only she did not realize her future was in her own hands. At the beginning of the book, she repeatly stated that she was "young" and "did not know enough even to beg" (55).
