From nativity to maturity we live with the misconception that perception is reality. What others perceive us to be is, in effect, what we are to them. The optimist calls it a mask and the pessimist calls it deception. Regardless of how we label it, each of us has presented ourselves either directly or indirectly as something other than who or what we really are. Self-preservation seems to be a prime motivator in our decision to mask ourselves. We think that the resultant protection provides security against the cruel world in which we live. These Les Nesman boundaries we construct, though invisible, are sufficiently tangible to convince most people. .
There are, however, exceptions to the norm. There are those with the ability to perceive beyond any boundary or mask that we attempt to display. If we are fortunate enough to love and understand one such as this, we can begin to discover ourselves and weave a beautiful tapestry from fabric of our otherwise drab lives. Patricia was such a person. The example she set for me in life, especially the day of her death, led me to begin to truly see others. I also began to see myself.
I am not sure when or how Patricia's gift first became manifest. She was the Rock of Gibraltar for most of her friends and family. I don't remember her going to anyone for emotional support. Nor did I ever see much offered to her. In this area alone Patricia was not balanced. She gave too much. She would internalize her own pain and like a dry, salty sponge, absorb the pain and suffering from those around her. She could have a very valid reason to hate someone, yet still see, even seek, the best in that person. One glaring example of this was how she dealt with her sister Susie. .
Susie divorced and needed money desperately to care for herself and her children. Patricia's radiant smile and startlingly beautiful blue eyes beamed as she offered her sister her own job.