Affixed to my master, I proceeded towards Him. I longed for His warm embrace, His familiar comfort. Once again my craving is satisfied.
This timeless ritual of seeking and contacting my master seemed endless. I craved for more. Days seemed oblivious, forgotten and even non-existent. Thoughts ran through my mind constantly of our next contact, a lust of monstrous proportions, devouring my sub-conscious and un-beknow'n to me motivating and driving me to find greater, stronger and even brighter masters.
Days had passed, and I felt the familiar hunger for His control. I didn't know how or why I was so captivated by his appearance, or His hypnotically soothing flicker. All my mind and body longed for was His touch. He controlled me. .
One foggy night, I was once again in search of Him. It seemed like an endless journey, seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours and still no contact! My mind was racing, I needed to feed the addiction. My movement was turbulent, uneasy and blurred, irrational thoughts were taking control, I felt myself falling, and in this mindless abyss I pondered. Why do I do this to myself, His powerful grasp on me is inescapable, yet I feel free in his company. Is this endless circle of feeding my body exactly that? Am I feeding my body or just my mind? I reminisced of my first contact with Him. My body felt warm and soothed, I was young and easily influenced, did he take advantage of my naivety? I felt lost and rejected, my master didn't want me, why would he make me feel so hurt if He really loved me? I slept.
To the sound of silence I awoke, I was in a room full of emptiness and despair. All that I had devoted my life to was fake, nothing was real. Despair and anguish quickly turned into anger over Him. Where was He when I needed him most? Probably with some other acquaintance, secretly laughing at my situation and stupidity. Violated, I partook in my usual routine, The day consisted of mindless activities that ultimately took my thoughts away from Him.
