141). But finally she does speak to him and asks, "'Was it very bad out there, Paul?'" (Remarque, All Quiet VII. 143). Here, when he answers, he lies, ostensibly to protect her from hearing of the chaotic conditions from which he has just returned. He thinks to himself, Mother, what should I answer to that! You would not understand, you could never realize it. And you never shall realize it. Was it bad, you ask.--You, Mother,--I shake my head and say: "No, Mother, not so very. There are always a lot of us together so it isn't so bad." (Remarque, All Quiet VII. 143) .
Even in trying to protect her, by using words that are false, Baumer creates a separation between his mother and himself. Clearly, as Baumer sees it, such knowledge is not for the uninitiated. On another level, however, Baumer cannot respond to his mother's question: he understands that the experiences he has had are so overwhelming that a "civilian" language, or any language at all, would be ineffective in describing them. Trying to replicate the experience and horrors of the war via words is impossible, Baumer realizes, and so he lies. Any attempt at telling the truth would, in fact, trivialize its reality. .
During the course of his leave, Baumer also sees his father. The fact that he does not wish to speak with his parent (i.e., use few or no words at all) shows Baumer's movement away from the traditional institution of the family. Baumer reports that his father "is curious [about the war] in a way that I find stupid and distressing; I no longer have any real contact with him" (Remarque, All Quiet VII. 146). In considering the demands of his father to discuss the war, Baumer, once again, realizes the impossibility, and, in this case, even the danger, of trying to relate the reality of the war via language. There is nothing he likes more than just hearing about it. I realize he does not know that a man cannot talk of such things; I would do it willingly, but it is too dangerous for me to put these things into words.
