When looking through the Boston white pages, I found it extremely difficult to find listings where the woman's name was listed first. This shows that in our society, men are perceived as having more control and importance in a marriage; not only does the woman typically take on her husbands last name, she can even frequently be referred to as Mrs. John Doe, for example. This completely strips the woman of her identity in her marriage, and leaves her only to be thought of as "John's wife." Up until marriage, women carry a name that is tied to everything in their past and when they marry, this connection to their previous life is lost. The taking on of a husband's last name is so common in our society, that it has become something women do without even realizing that they are losing a sense of their identity. Before doing this assignment, I never would have noticed that the husband's name is usually listed first in a phone book, and I"m sure many other people would be surprised as well. .
The taking on of a husband's name in marriage has become an internalized custom in our society. Upon marriage, women give up the name they were given at birth, which disconnects them from their family with the expectation that they should completely take on the family of their husband. This is such a strong custom that few women even realize that by doing this, they are taking on the subservient role in their marriage by sacrificing so much of their life. This gives the man the role of the leader in the relationship. Already, these specific roles of the husband as the protector and the wife as the nurturer are expected in society. Yet little customs such as the husband's name typically being listed first in the phone book are strong reminders of how the submissive role of the woman goes unnoticed in everyday life. .
