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For Adult Children of Alcoholics, surviving their families becomes the point of existence. The fortunate may be able to draw support from a supportive adult, and may emerge with fewer difficulties than their brothers and sisters. The majority, however, have to "make do.? Some spend lonely hours in their rooms wishing only to vanish behind the woodwork. Others attempt to rescue the foundering victims in their middle. When a Child of an Alcoholic's father threatens his family during a drunken rage, he may stand between them, putting himself at great risk. He wins the peace, but only at the cost of the emotional vulnerability he must develop in order to form mutually nurturing relationships. Instead, he builds a wall of mortar and brick which protects him from all forms of human touching, no matter how harsh or soft.
There are many approaches Children of Alcoholics may take to handle their stress. Some, sensing their family's need for relief, provide humor, distraction, anything to attract attention. Ironically, the more attention this child receives the less of him or her anyone sees. Their clown mask sits permanently in place, until even they feel oblivious to their own pain.
The raging child, the family sacrifice, absorbs the family's suffering. Unheard, they lash out, hoping someone will hear their screams of desperation and help. Instead, authorities muffle their cries as they cart them away: to the principal's office, to detention, and generally someplace out of ear shot. Powerless, they sink into despair or drugs, sometimes finding solace in the streets. Romantic relationships may promise a sense of renewal to the lonely and depressed Adult Child. They bask in the rush of excitement that springs from mutual attraction and discovery. But when they need to work out problems and issues, they feel frightened and lost flooded with childhood memories of hatred and destruction.
