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My So Called Life

It got to a point where my dad made me go to the doctor to talk to him. I was at the point where i wouldnt play with my friends in my complex unless i was right outside my house. i wouldnt go over anoynes house excpet for Colleen's because i trusted that my dad would show up to get me. If i was playing with my friends and my dad had to go somewhere i would stop what i was doing and go with him even though the other mothers had offered to watch me. i dont think that this was because i didnt trust my dad, it was more along the lines that i always wanted to be with him because if i wasnt i didnt feel safe.
             Referring back to the opening statement of how my life i like a monet. when i was younger people didnt see the way my life had been. They had seen me as a normal chid doing normal things. The only person that saw my life up close was Joyce, my babysitter. Other than that people just thought that my mom and dad didnt work out and that my mom lived far away. Which is the way i liked to keep it. I liked my friends not knowing what my family consisted of. Mostly because i was afriad that they wouldnt want to be my friends anymore or that their parents wouldnt lt them be my friends.
             As i got older, i understood my situation more. It didnt upset me because i was happy being with just my dad. At times my dad would approach me on a level in which he would try to talk to me about my mom. Quite frankly i never wanted to hear it. It didnt matter to me what happened. All i knew is that i was happy with the way things were at the moment. I remember telling my dad not to be sorry about how he chose a bad mom for me becuase i had him and that was all i needed. It was true. To this day i still feel that a family arent the people that are in it, it's the love and bond between the people that live under one roof. However my dad never saw it that way. He saw us as "different" from everyone else. He used to tell me that one day he would establish a family for us.


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