With this new lifestyle in mind for his family, John's wife, Joan Durbeyfield recalls that a man by the name of d'Urberville lives not far from their home and might be able to help them in their hard times, seeing as how he is kin to them. After the death of their only horse, the Durbeyfield family must do something to sustain themselves, but Mr. Durbeyfield refuses to sell the horse for food money due to his newfound d'Urberville pride. "'When we d'Urbervilles was knights in the land, we didn't sell our chargers for cat's meat.'" (p. 45) So, the family sends their eldest daughter, Tess to see if the d'Urberville family would help them, with side hopes of Tess possibly marrying a gentleman and restoring their family's status. This single decision, of sending Tess to the d'Urberville, and making her leave the sheltered life and town of Marlott that she had known for so long would be the change in her life that would lead to so many other events for her. Had Tess not been sent to the d'Urberville home, she would not have met Alec nor would she have bore his child out of wedlock and her life would have been completely different.
After her son died, Tess's shame overtook her and she left her birthplace of Marlott to find work at a dairy called Talbothay's. Here, she told nothing of her past and only came to work, where the surroundings were peaceful, calm and quite lush in vegetation. After much delay and postponement, Tess would accept the marriage proposal of a co-worker named Angel Clare, who was in love with her. Knowing that if Angel ever found out about her past, she would feel horrible, Tess decides that before they get married, she would tell him. "Declare the past to him by word of mouth she could not, but there was another way. She sat down and wrote . . . a succinct narrative of those events of three or four years ago, put it into an envelope, and directed it to Clare."(p.226) Despite this lengthy four-page letter, Tess's confession did not reach Angel Clare.
