Either way, children know the non-custodial parent is not in their lives so much or not even there at all anymore. Children can sense a change especially if the custodial parent proceeds differently in their daily lives. They may not be as cheerful as usual, not thinking and speaking clearly, and make common mistakes. The child's psychological state prior to changes in family structure is an important element in the child's ability to adjust to new situations and relationships. If a child develops an accurate perception of their parents" marital relationship, it could be a resource to lessen their trauma. On the other hand, if a child perceives their parents" marital relationship incorrectly, such as the relationship being "happy", then they are unprepared for the parental disengagement and could be traumatized by the break-up. There is evidence that children and adolescents with an internal locus of control and high level of interpersonal reasoning adjust more easily to their parents" divorce. It is apparent that children are more vulnerable to the disengagement if he/she experienced a close psychological bond with that parent before the divorce. Conversely, if the non-custodial parent was abusive or neglecting, children may experience little disturbance. .
Investigators have determined an approximate age range where children are the most vulnerable to parental divorce and disengagement. They identified that 3-9 years of age tend to be the most vulnerable time for children to experience such ordeal. Children below three years of age have limited awareness of what is really going on. Therefore they are less affected than 3-9 year olds. Children between the ages of 3-9 often blame themselves for the parental divorce. They see themselves as the bad person. They also distinguish the situation as being really severe; hence they seem to go through a lot of distress. Older children tend to adjust more readily because they are more likely to discuss the situation with friends, many of whom have the same experiences).
