At night I lie in my bed and think of just what it was that I did so wrong.
I was always a good kid, I stayed out of trouble, and I haven't done anything serious. But as I lie in my bed I realize that every step I take is a mistake to you. I have gained such a low self confidence from all the anguish and hate that I feel. All of it builds up and I start to fall, but there is no one there to catch me, There is no support there, There is no guidance there, no one is there to break my fall, all that is left is the put downs and constant yelling that is thrown back at me. All the words you use cut right through me and I am unable to breathe. I am constantly gasping for that breath, that some sort of release that I need to keep me going once more. I seem to wake up and get lost in all the animosity of my life and then realize that when I come back home all of it comes down on me. I can't let my guard down for a second, because I am in fear of the words that will be used towards me that night. Every single word you use, every single finger that you point in my face is in the back of my head at all times and haunts me. I can never get away from it; the disappointment from you is always there with me. It weighs down on me and I am unable to move sometimes. It all comes upon me and overwhelms me. There is no way to get away from it either. There is no way out. I am just falling and there is no one there to catch me.
