I could see it in Philomene the day she was born she was very special. A beautiful high yellow baby, whose looks favored her father, Eugene Fredieu. In the world that we lived in I thought race was everything, maybe this child would get to lead an easier life than I had, A life of freedom and in a world without prejudices. But I was wrong, gravely wrong. The one trait I"m not proud of passing down to my children and grandchildren is being color struck. .
I was color struck; I thought because my father was white that it made me special, but I was no better than anyone else. To the family I was just another mulatto slave, someone to control, and someone to do their work. I ran around like I was someone special, someone who actually mattered. The only reason my haughtiness was tolerated was because master was my father. It shames me that I passed this on to Philomene.
Philomene was even more color struck than I. She flaunted the fact that Eugene as her father, and even took to using his last name. She thought herself above work. I once told her that she was not to call him Papa, she retorted "I"m Philomene Daurat, and he is my father." I should have smacked that girl then, maybe it would have ended the ever-increasing level of how color struck my descendants got. Philomene had two little girls by another black man, Clement. At the time she was told that while she was ill with yellow fever they passed on from the disease. Clement and Philomene were separated when the Ferrier plantation broke up. Philomene had eight children by Narcisse Fredieu. Quite possibly the worst color struck child was Emily.
Emily was by far the worst when it came to being color struck. She lived life as if she was white, and Philomene encouraged it, telling her to stay out of the sun as not to darken her skin. Emily even went as far as to live with Joseph Billes, the father of her five children, the man her safety had been entrusted to while she was in the convent in New Orleans.
