The love and hate in lovemaking and leaving

            The exit that a man takes after being with a lover establishes his reputation as a good or bad lover. When a lover must leave in the middle of the night, certain considerations must occur: Does the man think of his lover's feelings? Is he sensitive to and thoughtful of her feelings? If not, a woman comes to be displeased or upset. If he does consider these things, a woman comes to be satisfied and contented. In her essay entitled, "A Lover's Departure,"" Sei Shanagon vividly describes the different ways lovers have left her after an intimate encounter. With these sexual encounters, she is able to observe the different types of lovers, the good lovers and the bad lovers. Although this essay was written in the late tenth century, the subject matter can be applied to the present time. Even ten centuries later, women still analyze a man's disposition on how he leaves after a night of intimate sexual relations. In Sei Shanagon's essay, "A Lover's Departure,"" the departure of a lover exposes a lady's emotion of love or hate through the type of action he takes indicated by a careless flight, a superfluous exit, or a sweet farewell.
             Sei Shanagon illustrates the type of action different lovers take with the lucid imagery she uses in writing this essay. The first example the author gives is that of a lover's careless flight after making love. Shanagon writes about the first "bumbling,"" "muttering,"" and "rustling- lover "announcing- his intent to run off. Without a proper departure, the lady can easily feel used, seduced, and tricked. While needing to leave after great sex may be inevitable due to subsequent engagements, raucously taking off on a woman after having sex with her is among the most appalling things a man can do to his lover, especially when "it is pitch dark."" The author lets the audience know exactly how she is left feeling after these actions take place. Shanagon exclaims at the end of this encounter, "What charmless behavior! Hateful' is an understatement.