It is important for everyone to discover who they are and identify their true self. In "The Bell Jar," by Sylvia Plath, the main character Esther Greenwood does not know who she is and lets the personalities of those around her become her own. Esther tries to transform herself to those that surround her by taking in their different personalities, trying to find the right one that could be hers. She allows those that surround her to decide who she is. In doing so, Esther loses the power to define who she is which leads her into madness. .
Esther wants to be perfect and, therefore, wants to be everyone but herself. Throughout her life, Esther has had perfect grades and the perfect boyfriend, Buddy Willard. Her world comes crashing down when Buddy confesses that he had sexual relations with a waitress one summer and she learned he was not perfect after all. "I found out how he had fooled me all those years and what a hypocrite he was" (Plath 62). Esther begins to think that she must find that perfect person inside her so she uses alter egos and personality adaptations, which lead her into confusion and self-denial. .
Esther's desire to be carefree and a risk taker is inspired by the character Doreen, who is fashion-conscious, worldly, and lives a life on the edge, unlike Esther. When Esther is with Doreen she feels like a different person. When they are going to a party, Esther expresses how being with Doreen changes her by saying, "Ordinarily, I would have been nervous about my dress and my odd color, but being with Doreen made me forget my worries. I felt wise and cynical as all hell" (Plath 8). On the way, Esther and Doreen agree to go with a man they have just met instead of the party, something Esther would not have done if she had not been with Doreen. Esther is not able to decide anything for herself. This is why she incorporates the different identities of the characters that surround her and does not establish one for herself.
