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How to be a good president (satire)


            Who really needs an honest president? What would be the fun in that? I mean is the truth really that important? Should IQ really be a factor for the president? If you answer no to all my questions then maybe you could be the next president. Heres a guide all about it.
             I don't think you really need to get the most votes to win an election. As long as you know the right people and how to manipulate them, you should have no problem rigging an election. If some one tries to investigate the election all you have to do is get some one to stop the investigation or just make it look you didn't do it, because your the president and you get to do that kind of stuff. .
             Once your in office your most important goal is to find some to write stuff for you to say, any time you have to speak in public it needs to be written by someone smart so you don't look like an idiot. Of course after that all you really need to worry about is re-election. Right of the bat you need to set some big goals, it doesn't really matter if you can reach them or not all you have to do is say you will. Once they believe you, your best choice is to do the exact opposite. As long as the media doesn't hear about it the people will never know. This will rake in the voters. They all love the special attention, as long as you promise each group an individual deed they will all give you their vote. .
             This will only win over some of the voters, for the rest you will need to do something a little more drastic. For this challenge you will need a very cunning cabinet for you to use to back your ideas. You will need to create an enemy. The easier the target the better. They do not really need to an actual enemy, a past enemy, a possible enemy or any one you can blame by association will work. As long as you can make them look like a threat for the media they will work. Next you need to declare war. Make the media believe this an attack or die situation, your cabinet can help with this.


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