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Personal narrative



             It's funny how in those first few moments of knowing, I thought I knew what my life was to become. I had visions of myself as the noble, over-worked single mom who gave everything up for the love of her child. In those first few minutes, I didn't stop to consider how my decision would affect a magnitude of people who were close to me. I went to my baby's father, Nic, (who is now my husband) to tell him that I was pregnant. I told him that I in no way expected him to take responsibility for a baby that we had not planned for. After all, I have always believed that fathers should have the right to decide too. Looking back now, I'm surprised he didn't slap me right then and there. God, how foolish I was. Fortunately, Nic, being the person that he is, calmly told me that although he wished I would reconsider my decision, he already had a daughter he didn't get to see. He was not interested in having that sort of relationship with another child. We decided to just see what would happen as the pregnancy progressed.
             I had my first ultrasound about a month and a half later. Nic was by my side. When I saw our baby on that tiny screen, I got the giggles. Our poor baby looked like a tiny boat caught in a sea storm. Everything was going wonderfully. Nic stood by me and held my hand until the doctor quoted a due date that would have made me four weeks farther along than I actually was. In most cases, this might not be a problem, but I had become pregnant the first time we were together. He said, "It can't be mine, then."" He was actually relieved! I felt so angry and betrayed. I knew that the date was wrong, but I didn't know how I could expect him to believe me over a doctor. I told Nic that it looked like he was off the hook. For some unknown reason, telling him that made him decide that he wanted to stick around. For some other reason, I decided to let him.
             Time passes rather quickly when one is expecting a child.


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