Family remains the central focus of helping professionals such as counselors to assist in handling the new "crisis" the family is experiencing. If the family does not support and understand the adolescent then acceptance in school and the outside world is more difficult. This promotes "closeting behaviors" which in turn promotes a developmental crisis. Like everything in life families have to be educated about behaviors that are foreign to them. They must be aware of their culture, their family rules, and their expectations. The worse thing a family could do is ignore a teen that is struggling with their sexual identity. Most parents ask themselves, "why is my child gay?" They are wondering if they did something wrong. "They may be grieving over losing an image of their child. They feel that someone led their child into homosexuality, or they wonder if there is a biological cause of homosexuality (PFLAG- Parents, Families, and Friends, of Lesbians and Gays, 2003)." The reality is gay people are from all types of families. There is no way to surmise if your child will be gay, a lesbian, or a bisexual. Sometimes that's just the way it is. .
Problems arise when families do not know how to cope. Entertaining the idea of suppression, anger and denial will not make it disappear. Therefore the first step as in any process of grief is acceptance of this child as a part of you. The same child that the family has loved, cared for, and protected since birth. Unfortunately this does not happen all the time. Some families that have the financial capability of paying for therapy seek help from private psychiatrists or psychologists who they hope will find a cure for this "temporary cure or disease." It is important to teach the community that sexuality is not a disease. There are psychological, biological, and physiological explanations of the etiology of same-sex attraction. Psychological theories have been "psychodynamic and have implicated the parent-child relationship (Yarhouse, 1998).
