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Book review of why marriages succeed or fail by john gottman

            Within the book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Dr. John Gottman talks about relationships, how one can understand conflict and be able to get through it and strengthen ones marriage. What Dr. Gottman has done with many years of researching conflict within marriages is come up with a series of tests that can help couples work through problems; and also gives them the ability to evaluate their marriage and pinpoint areas that could lead to divorce. Through researching many couples by watching them argue, interact and their verbal and nonverbal cues Gottman was able to understand and accurately predict whether or not a marriage will succeed or fail. Gottman found that couples basically want two things, love and respect. The one thing that can deter a divorce is a couple's ability to resolve conflicts since they are inevitable. This he states, the ability to resolve conflicts to the mutual satisfaction of both people, is the essence on whether or not a marriage will succeed or fail. .
             Gottman gathered research by looking at many married couples. He would have their arguments recorded on tapes while they were at home or have them discuss conflicts in front of him. Gottman was able to use questionnaires and phone calls to learn about the status of the couples he researched years ago. Gottman used other techniques such as using a lie detector test, chairs which measure how much the couples wiggle while they are discussing the conflict and other equipment that can record physical and physiological information. Gottman even used microphones to makes sure he could hear every sound each couple made. Gottman would find out from previous sessions what problems a couple would be having and have them talk about that to see their true feelings. .
             From his research Gottman found three main styles of marital problem solving: validating, avoiding and volatile. The first style of validation occurs when couples in conflict take the time to let their partners know that they consider their emotions and opinions valid even if they do not agree with them.


Essays Related to Book review of why marriages succeed or fail by john gottman

1. Marriage - Criticisms and Complaints

In the book "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail", written by John Gottman, Ph.D.,  I found an answer to this question. ... Therefore, it is reasonable to admit that complaint or criticism both could be the reasons "why marriages fail". ... According to a great author John Gottman, the statistics of failing marriages are getting worse and worse with every year. ... In conclusion, according to mister John, marriages get built and broken every day. ... To conclude, keeping a happy marriage and a healthy relationship is not easy, but mister Gottman's great book "Why Marr...

  • Word Count: 679
  • Approx Pages: 3
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2. annotated bibliography

 Communication Theory Annotated Bibliography April 16, 2013 Why does marriage work on an interpersonal level? Gottman, J. (1994). ... This article made some really good points on why marriages do and do not last. The research of the mid to late nineties stated that over half of all marriages fail and second time marriages have a sixty percent fail rate as well. ... Gottman also gives different conflict resolution styles and states statistics on how successful marriages really are in America. ...

  • Word Count: 1196
  • Approx Pages: 5
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3. Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus

Susan Page and John Gottman are two couples communication experts who offer some skills that will help you calm down in situations like this one. ... Susan Page wrote a book, Essential Traits of Couples Who Thrive. ... John Gottman wrote a book with a lot of similar views to Page. In The Two Marriages: His and Hers, Gottman's number one point is when you are in a conflict you must calm down. ... John Gray has a different approach to relationships. ...

  • Word Count: 719
  • Approx Pages: 3
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4. Marriage maintenance Project

He then posses the question "What if, like airplanes, all marriages had to submit to an annual review to determine their health? ... In order to keep the relationship in existence, according to John Gottman Ph.D. (1995), one must be actively interested, affectionate, show that they care, appreciative, show concern, empathic, accepting and be able to share joy with the other person. ... Gottman (1995) advises that one must "acknowledge your spouse's viewpoint before expressing your own- (p 204). ... In order to be classified as a good listener one must be able to express interest in thei...

  • Word Count: 4898
  • Approx Pages: 20
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5. Self Help Books

Specifically, I am talking about John Gray, Deborah Tannen, John Gottman, and Susan Page. ... John Gray. He is the author of the infamous Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus book series. ... I say this because unlike Gray, she explains why the behavior happens and not exclusively how to solve it. ... John Gottman happens to be our last writer that I am discussing. ...

  • Word Count: 1054
  • Approx Pages: 4
  • Grade Level: High School

6. Marriage

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  • Word Count: 3315
  • Approx Pages: 13
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7. A Doll's House

John Gottman says "What characterizes the marriages of stable and happy couples? ... According to John Gottman a strength in marriage is taking the other's problems and making them your own. "At the heart of my program is the simple truth that happy marriages are based on deep friendship. ... John Gottman stated that couples have to be very close friends. ... In the dictionary it says that marriage is an intimate association or union. ...

  • Word Count: 1027
  • Approx Pages: 4
  • Grade Level: High School

8. Mating and Marriage

Preface For my individual project for Introduction to Anthropology I have chosen to review Mating and Marriage, a book edited by Vernon Reynolds and John Kellette. [Bibliographical information: Kellette, John; Reynolds, Vernon. ... I chose this book to review because it contains valuable text that is useful for all humans to read. ... I found it out of the ordinary when the text discussed human societies in relevance to mating and marriage and at times failed to discuss the cultural implications of such things. ... Here is one example of a culture and how it deals with mating and marri...

  • Word Count: 1322
  • Approx Pages: 5
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9. total crap

The divorce rate in the United States is somewhere between 50 percent and a startling 67%" (Gottman 2). ... Research evidence has shown that marital distress and conflict within a marriage causes a wide range of negative effects on the children of the feuding spouses (Gottman 4). "Such effects include depression, withdrawal, poor social competence, various health problems, and poor academic performance" (Gottman 4). ... With these facts in mind, one might wonder why divorce is seen as such an unfortunate alternative; nevertheless it is the decision that most couples decide on taking without he...

  • Word Count: 1245
  • Approx Pages: 5
  • Grade Level: Undergraduate

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