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Bobby was born in 1963, the younger of two brothers. He knew early on he didn't fit in and at age 15 he confided in his brother Ed that he was gay. When his religiously devout parents discovered this, they were horrified and tried desperately to convert their son to heterosexuality. Bobby prayed for years for God to make him heterosexual, so that he would not be punished. In his diary he wrote: "Why did you do this to me God - am I going to hell?- .
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It was the constant fear of violence and homophobia that kept Bobby suffering for years. Mary said, "I firmly believe that Bobby's suicide is the end result of homophobia and ignorance within most Protestant and Catholic churches and consequently within society, our public schools and our own family. Bobby was not drunk nor did he use drugs. It's just that we could never accept him for who he was - a gay person. We hoped God would heal him of being gay. According to God's word as we were led to understand it, Bobby had to repent or God would damn him to hell and eternal punishment. Blindly I accepted the idea that it is God's nature to torment and intimidate us. That I ever accepted such depravity of God toward my son or any human being has caused me much remorse and shame. What a travesty of God's love for children to grow up believing themselves to be evil, with only a slight inclination toward goodness and that they will remain undeserving of God's love from birth to death."" .
"Looking back,"" Mary continues, "I realize how depraved it was to instill false guilt in an innocent child's conscience, causing a distorted image of life, God and self, leaving little if any feeling of personal worth. Had I viewed my son's life with a pure heart I would have recognized him as a tender spirit of God's."".
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Not long before he reached the age of 20, Bobby "unable to deal with the guilt and shame of who he was and his parents' misguided efforts to help "moved to Portland, Oregon, hoping that the change in scenery would help him get "cured-.
