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Weary decision


            Could one decision affect you for your whole life? In the story "Kansas," Stephen Dobyns portray how one boy's journey through life cost him his own life. He was burden by the decision that he made. He could have tried to save the farmers" wife by comforting the farmer but he was too afraid of what the outcome would be. .
             The boys" decision of not talking about the incident to anyone till he was in his dead bed to his two sons affected him. He was a passive person. All the boy did was thought about what happened that day to himself for the rest of his life. He made it an inner conflict by holding it inside himself. Maybe he was a person that is true to his words. He kept his promise to the farmer. He did not tell the police nor did he tell anyone about that day.
             "The farmer and his forty-five seemed to stand between him and that future" (Dobyns 86). His dreams of playing the piano professionally at Carnegie Hall did not come true. All of his concentrations in his dreams were replaced by the distractions of the incident with the farmer. He couldn't concentrate on the piano anymore. Playing such instrument as the piano takes concentration. He had dreams about the incident day and night till he died. .
             Was his illness just a sign of depression? He became ill because his depression was taking over. It became too hard for him to bear. He has a mental illness that could affect his way of thinking. He became disillusioned about accuracy. "He went from one shot a day to two, and then three" (Dobyns 87). He felt like he needed more morphine for his illness each day. .
             The boy didn't find out any information about the farmer in the news nor did he ever hear of anyone talking about it. His discussion haunted him because he didn't know what actually took place after the farmer left him. Is the farmer's wife still alive or are they dead? All the boy ever did was wondered for the rest of his life what the ending was and how his decision could made an impact on the farmer.


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