Our self-evaluation determines how we approach future tasks.
By the time we reach adulthood, self-esteem has changed from a mostly reactive phenomenon to one that can be conscientiously maneuvered to either increase or decrease feelings of self-worth. As adults, we are confronted by many situations that affect our levels of self-esteem. Epstein (1979 cited in Mruk, 1995) has extensively researched those situations that most typically affect self-esteem in adulthood. These are success-failure experiences where individuals either deal successfully or unsuccessfully with a situation and acceptance-rejection situations which are interpersonal in nature. Romantic relationships, peer relationships, and relationships with family members are typical contexts which can affect self-esteem.
The following points are helpful in strengthening and supporting a healthy sense of self-esteem in a child. As they grow, children become increasingly sensitive to the evaluation of their peers. Parents and the child's teachers can help the child learn to build healthy relationships with his or her peers. When children develop stronger ties with their peers, in school or around the neighborhood, they may begin to evaluate themselves differently from the way they learned to do so at home. A parent can help the child with experiences outside the home by being clear about the parent's own values and by keeping the lines of communication open.
Children do not acquire self-esteem at once nor do they always feel good about themselves in every situation. A young child may feel self-confident and accepted at home but not necessarily around the neighborhood or in a preschool class. Furthermore, as children interact with their peers or learn to function in school or in some other place, they may feel accepted and liked one moment and feel different the next (Borba and Borba, 1978). A parent can help in these instances by reassuring the child of the parental support and acceptance of him or her, even while others do not.
