Because of our age difference and daily schedules, our time together can be sometimes limited but very special. I am going to discuss the tangible relationship and how both of us use the social exchange theory when weighing our actions against the costs and rewards of those same behaviors.
One tangible reward for me is being able to have someone take me out to dinner, take me to the movies, or provide for other fun events that are enjoyable and rewarding to me. Being that Marshall is older and has a good and stable job, he is able to take me out when our schedules work together to do so. Not only is this rewarding just for me, but in speaking with him about this topic, he also agrees that the rewards of going out together outweigh the costs. Even though this may cost him monetarily, he has a good time being with me and spending time together on most occasions. When I am not paying the bills, the only other thing I can weigh the rewards against is the time and energy I spend to get ready and look pretty for him. This would be a cost for me because of the way I stress out when I do not perceive that I look perfect. However, when we are together, Marshall always builds me up and makes me feel pretty and special even when I have had a bad day. This is an intangible reward for me, because he is making me feel a certain way. Dr. Phillip McGraw in his book, Relationship Rescue, makes it clear that in order for a relationship to be happier clear that in order for a relationship to be happier you have to get into the game. He says, "By acting the way that you want the relationship to be, you give yourself the chance of experiencing the rewards that come rfrom those kind of behaviors" (255). .
In relating what Dr. McGraw is saying to Marshall and me, we see that when Marshall is building me up and making me feel good about myself, he changes my attitude to a more pleasant one- the attitude that gives him intangible rewards from me.
