One tool that is used when addressing the rewards and costs affects on individuals in a relationship is the Social Exchange theory. Basically this theory means that an individual will seek out relationships in which the rewards are greater than the costs. An individual in any type of interpersonal relationship considers all rewards and costs as they are perceived by the individual. These costs and rewards can be anything from money or tangible gifts to types of feelings or devotion. The first being tangible rewards or costs and the later being intangible rewards or costs. The basic equation of the social exchange theory directly states: Rewards - Costs = Outcome (Alder & Towne, 1999. p. 342). Further, this social exchange theory is an attempt to explain the different behaviors and motives that make a relationship between two individuals.
The Social Exchange Theory controls our behavior as well as the reinforcement for our actions. Before we act in most circumstances, we weigh the rewards and costs of the behaviors consequences. Obviously the behavior used is the one believed to produce the highest reward and the lowest cost (Auld & Case, 1997, p. 192). What we perceive to be acceptable or unacceptable in the relationship is our comparison level that we weigh the rewards and costs against. The comparison level of alternatives is when we weigh the rewards and costs relative to the perceived alternatives ( Alder & Towne, 1999, p. 343).
Though the social exchange theory can be applied to any type of interpersonal relationship, I am going to apply the theory to my relationship with my romantic and dating partner. Marshall and myself have been dating now for nineteen months. We met and began dating during the Spring of my freshman year in college. Marshall is there and a half years older than I am. He had just graduated from State a few months before we met, and he had already begun working for an engineering company in Cary.
