I remember quite some time ago, while being taught about puberty and sex, my fourth grade class watched a video consisting of bad actors with bad acting skills pretending to be in an abusive relationship. I distinctly remember thinking "that girl should just break up with that guy. Why doesn't she just leave? She is so stupid" - I would never be that dumb." 8 years later, I myself was in an abusive relationship and continued to be involved romantically with that person for 2 years. How ironic. .
I am a firm believer in the "honeymoon phase." This is, for most, at the beginning of a new relationship. Typically, one or both persons is overly, and in some cases falsely sensitive, compassionate, thoughtful and polite, which influences the other to believe that they are going to be together in this state of perfect bliss forever (or as long as the relationship lasts, more realistically.) That's how my relationship started out - it seemed as though he was perfect for me. He treated me with respect and was honest and gentle. He never raised his voice and the thought of him raising a hand to me never crossed my mind. .
After a few months, his behavior began to change drastically. He was impatient, possessive and highly verbally abusive at times. A few months later, it escalated to physical abuse. When he got extremely angry (which was often), he would push me, pull me or throw me into inanimate objects. If I expressed my opposition to his abuse, it only got worse. Friends and family expressed their worries and urged me to end the relationship, but because of the wonderful "honeymoon" I had experienced, I believed that his behavior was just a phase.
and that it would pass. I told myself that this wasn't really him and at times even convinced myself that I was responsible for the abuse he subjected me to. Because I didn't leave him when I should have, he learned from experience that he could continue to act the way he did and I would remain there, tolerating it.