A friend of mine was offered this when a friend of hers tried to convince her it was the best way to go, especially since they were both going off to college and wanted to meet other people. Her attempt to keep herself detached from the boy did not work long, and she found herself wanting a deeper relationship that was not just physical. When she confessed her feelings for him, things just became awkward and he started to distance himself because he did not feel the same way. This is usually what happens in a "friends with benefits" relationship when you do not follow the rules. .
There are a few guidelines that come into play in order for "friends with benefits" to work. A kind of contract, if you will. Both people have to be single, otherwise it is called cheating. You also cannot get attached, jealous, or fall in love with the other person. If this happens, in the end someone will surely be hurt and what makes it worse is that you might lose a lover as well as a friend. Wait a minute with all these boundaries, it is starting to sound like .guess what? A relationship.
It is not as easy as it sounds. It can be pretty difficult to separate those feelings of intimacy and just plain, straightforward friendship with the opposite gender. First of all, to consider having a physical relationship with someone, there must be some initial attraction. Second, there is some sort of emotional connection that already exists. With these two assumptions, there is bound to be development of deeper feelings. And chances are, the friendship will fade and the benefits will not last long after that. Eventually, one or the other begins to feel used and feelings of resentment build - especially when the other person has real interests in someone else, and just needs you to satisfy their lust. .
Many of my friends disagree about having "friends with benefits" for moral or religious reasons. Honestly, it does not seem to do confidence and self esteem a whole lot of good.
