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John Protors Personal Dairy

            
            
             Elizabeth is not feeling well after the birth of our third child so we decide she needed help with the children and running of the household. We decided on Abigail Williams, an orphan who was just sixteen years old. She walked into our home and my heart just stopped. She was wearing an old blue dress with her head covered with a white bonnet. She was so young and beautiful I had a hard time taking my eyes off her. She has long blonde hair that is under the bonnet and piercing blue eyes. She looked timidly around the house and instantly the boys just loved her. I thought she will fit in quite easily, little did I know my whole life would change because of her.
             Abigail did fit in; maybe too well. I would find myself thinking about her constantly and I always looked for her after a long day's work. We started out just smiling and talking to each other in private, then it turned into much more. I was in the barn putting away my tools for the day when Abigail walked in. She was smiling and quite nervous. She was wearing a new gray dress and she had a ribbon in her hair. I couldn't help myself; I removed the ribbon and let her hair fall free. It was then that we made love in the musty smelling hay in the barn. I am falling in love with Abigail and I cannot control my feelings. I think Elizabeth is noticing even though she is quite ill herself. She questions me and I have to tell her the truth. Elizabeth is such a good woman who never lied in her life. I have hurt her so much that I have to go along with her plan to send Abigail away. I don't want Abigail to leave but I know it is the right thing to do. I will do everything in my power to make it up to Elizabeth and to get over Abigail. I kept this ribbon as a reminder of what I cannot have. Hopefully God will forgive me for my sin. .
            


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