[she] had feared and fought [grandfather Conner], yet he proclaimed himself in [her] veins." ("A Bird in the House," p. 191). Thus, it is evident that Vanessa was not free of Grandfather Conner's tyranny, which prevented her from reaching personal freedom. .
In addition, Vanessa was unable to achieve personal freedom because of the pain that her regrets brought her. It is evident in the story "Horses of the Night" that Vanessa does not open up to Chris because she is worried about the age difference between them; "[Chris] was twenty-one. The distance between [them] was still too great. For years [she] had wanted to be older so [she] might talk with him, but now [she] felt unready" ("A Bird in the House," p.140). This holds her back from getting close to him and understanding him better. Vanessa later realizes that when she went camping with Chris he had wanted to open up to her, because he trusted her. When Chris is admitted into a mental hospital Vanessa concludes that if she had let Chris talk to her, he would not have ended up in a mental institution. This regret that Vanessa feels keeps her from reaching personal freedom.
Likewise, Ewen MacLeod does not reach personal freedom because of the memories and regrets that he carries around with him. The death of his brother Roderick proves to be a very tragic moment of his life. Grandmother MacLeod is very successful in making Ewen feel guilty for surviving, when his brother did not. This guilt is what keeps Ewen quiet in front of her, he does not raise his voice to her and when he does he instantly apologises. In the story "A Bird in the House" Ewen drops the hint that the time when he was away at war was a time when he was free, it was a time in which he was able to explore different places. Ewen says: "It was kind of interesting to see a few other places for a change." ("A Bird in the House," p.91). After Ewen's death Vanessa finds a love letter and a picture of a girl that she believes was her fathers lover.
