The children's birthdays are a little more than a week apart so we usually have one big birthday party for the two of them, where we all celebrate as a family unit. Friends of one or all parents and step-parents, children's friends, and family members of each parent and step-parent are all in attendance. For the most part, all of the families get along with each other and enjoy the parties and time with the children. For Christmas, we spend time in both homes. Santa comes to both houses and leaves gifts, but we all celebrate together as one family. We spend the morning at one house opening gifts and stockings that Santa leaves there, and the children, parents, and step-parents exchange gifts, and then we go to the other house and open the gifts and stockings that Santa leaves at that house. The children enjoy family time.
Maintaining good co-parenting relationships is important because it helps keep the children's lives consistent. At home, we have a set of rules to follow and though they are somewhat different in each household, as a family, we make sure that any disciplinary action is the same in both households. If they disobey a rule in one home and get something taken away or get grounded, they will get something taken away or be grounded at the other home as well. The same rules apply to their actions in school. If one of the children breaks a rule or disobeys their teacher in school, we communicate to make sure that the same disciplinary action is taken in both homes and remains in place for the same amount of time.
There are many times when successful co-parenting does not occur. I witness these types of relationships frequently. I see parents completely disregarding the other parent's disciplinary actions, resulting in the children acting out even more. I see parents who do not get along with each other try to get the children to choose sides, resulting in the children being unhappy with one or both parents.
