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Pursuing and Living a Dream


We learn to separate what other people will think are the unrealistic dreams in fear of failure. Our secret dreams we harbor as young children, falter us as they are put up to public scrutiny. The imagined whispers of a judgmental audience that would never be heard because I would never give them the chance to speak about me. As I sat on that cold hard floor listening to my teacher, the nerves inside me were growing. The feeling that my heart was going to come out of my mouth if I was asked a question, the feeling I still get to this very day when something nerve-racking comes along. Michael Leunig described the feeling of escaping fear as "frantically searching for the lane that leads to the road that leads to the peace and safety of home". Many of us who face the nauseating experience of anxiety, unconsciously .
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             As a whole, society conditions us to separate not what we think we can achieve, but what we believe is acceptable to pursue so that we fit into societies expectations. My mother has always described me as a water baby, from the moment of my first bath. I grew up to love the movie The Little Mermaid and then to aspire to be like her. I would play games with my cousins in the pool where she would tie my legs together and I would swim around while she tried to catch me. My dream of being a mermaid started from a very young age but I soon grew to realize that when I expressed the aspiration to others that I would be laughed at. I stopped pursuing the idea of becoming a mermaid and decided that it would be something I would keep to myself from that moment onwards. Forever the dream was in my heart but something I let go of on the surface to conform with society. At work I saw a young girl putting on a mermaid tail, and it reminded me of my desire to be like that when I was her age. I decided I finally had to take a small grasp at my dream of becoming a mermaid. After taking out a chunk of my own savings, I was able to buy myself a spandex mermaid tail.


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