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Long-Term Benefits of a Stable Childhood


            Pre-destiny aside, it is generally accepted that the quality of a person's upbringing is a key ingredient to their stability and happiness in life. Since a child is totally dependent, the responsibility for their upbringing rests with that child's primary care-giver and this responsibility includes not only physical protection but also the loving, civilizing "education" necessary for the personal and social development which will allow the child to survive outside of the home. Without the latter, the child is preserved rather than developed, more like a pet to be fed, indulged, tolerated or ignored at will. When a child's body is unprotected, the results are clear to anyone with access to them - bruises, broken bones, illness and sometimes death. When the responsibility to love and instruct has been breeched, what are the signs? What are the immediate and long-term consequences to that child?.
             In an adult, uncontrolled behavior is a clear sign of instability, and responsibility is almost always placed on that person unless they are determined to be insane. In childhood, uncontrolled behaviors are initially accepted as normal because it is understood that a child has a limited toolbox; absent physical debilitation, the development of language, motor and social skills takes time and repetition and is influenced by the degree of affection/interaction the child receives, the content of direct instruction and role modeling. All of these elements combine with the child's innate temperament and abilities to produce a unique little person who will be held increasingly responsible for themselves as they age, since the tool box presumably expands and the expectation of control becomes reasonable. An unstable parent cannot consistently provide these elements and leaves the child more or less dependent on chance, but the expectation of the child's increasing competence remains, even as they demonstrate inability, partly because their situation is not understood.


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