"Don't let the same dog bite you twice" (Chuck Berry). Gilbert's, "Midnight on the Farm" explains and defends the right of farmers to defend their livestock from aggressive animals. Gilbert lives by his Three 'S' Rule: Shoot, Shovel, and Shut Up. He believes that it is a landowner's right to protect his property using whatever means necessary. Gilbert proves that farmers have the right to protect their land and livestock from aggressive animals using whatever means necessary because livestock is their lively hood, the livestock is viewed as part of the family, and the deaths of the livestock are wasted because the carcasses are not used to their full potential. .
Gilbert opens his story by reading a flyer for a lost dog that he had shot two days before. This makes Gilbert sound heartless, inferring that the dog was a lovely dog that belonged to a wonderful old woman that lived down the road. Gilbert says that the woman loved the dog, but not enough to stop it from roaming around, trespassing on his property, and assaulting the chickens. Gilbert continues on to announce that he had every right to kill the dog, for the dog had been attacking the "yellow and black elderly rooster" which was like part of his family. Gilbert defends his belief that the dogs he has killed were killed out of necessity - not out of vengeance. Gilbert continues on to explain how he did not always find dogs to be a nuisance and that he still cares for them. Gilbert attempts to state that he does not enjoy killing dogs because he loves the animals. He stated that as a child he pleaded nonstop with his parents for a dog. He continues to say that after he finally got a dog he was never without one. When killing the stray dogs that approached his chicken coups, he still had a dog, yet his dog was a guard dog. Gilbert proves that he does not enjoy killing dogs, also he recognizes that society holds dogs in high regards.
