Never once was I given encouragement or advice, only criticized and left there hanging to fix my mistakes myself. Surrounded by my teammates who seemed to be excelling in their skill level, not knowing how to make myself better, and fearful of asking for help, left me feeling helpless and alone. This feeling of not belonging is vile; never again will I let someone make me feel like an outcast. .
It started around the time I was a freshman in high school when I had just recently joined the Sunrise Soccer U14 team. I had never had problems on my previous club teams; however, none of them contained girls who were as competitive as these. Although I knew I did not have the same skill level as some of them, I had the heart, mentality, and soul to progress and work to become one of the best. I was ecstatic to be able to play at such a high level of competition with some of the best players in the state, only to come to find out they were as snobby and stuck up as the rest of the town.
We began the season with practices every day all week long; I had not even been playing with these girls for two weeks and already they were bagging on me, listing every detail as to what I was doing wrong; whether it be the way I kick the ball, the way I go in for my tackles, or even the way I run, they would constantly point out my flaws. Never giving anything but tactics to one another that were necessary to improve, I could already feel as though I did not belong. As the season progressed on, I tried to ignore all the negative feedback that seemed to bombard me and instead focused on improving. I worked day in and day out, touching the ball around in my backyard, going to the gym, and even going to the field alone to work on my shots and passes. .
It was our first away trip, and I thought to myself "maybe this is it, maybe this is finally the time I can bond with my teammates and become accepted." Shortly after arriving at the hotel, I messaged one of my teammates asking where they all were.
