What's your idea of a perfect family? Is there a perfect family? What is the normal family? Growing up I learned that the word family described exactly what I didn't have at home. Seeing all my friends with their families made me realize I wanted that more than anything, I wanted to feel comfortable with my family I wanted to feel like I wasn't such a screw up and I made a difference to my family. Being an only child I soon learned I would be on my own for many of life's challenges that other children had help from siblings for. When I was about 6 years old I recall my father acting very strangely and my mom described it as him acting "weird." So I guess my six year old mind went along with it for awhile. In the fourth or fifth grade our guidance counselor at school came into visit us and talks to us about drugs and alcohol. The more she talked, the more I started to connect the things she was saying to the ways my dad was acting. I later learned my dad's alcoholism was much worse than I had thought. Throughout the years he would drive me around intoxicated and show up to school events intoxicated and embarrassed me in front of the majority of my friends. He would verbally, physically, and sometimes even sexually abuse me. .
At the time, I had no idea of the seriousness of his actions, I thought this was all so normal to every family, like it was no big deal at all. I always protected him and did what ever he said to do. He made me feel so guilty saying I was the reason our family was falling apart. Little did I know, I was blind to realize that I was treated so badly by him. He didn't deserve my love. He didn't deserve my mom and he needed to change his ways. After many years of struggle, tears, and trying I finally realized the seriousness of everything that had been going on. I told someone and now my father does not live with us anymore. Growing up with that in my life has made me realize many things.
