I, Cedric of San Diego, from the land of sky-candles and sail-roads, son of a gritty Californian warrior, Godric, who, generous to all his thanes, rewarded them lavishly, with funds for the newest Ray-Bans, have come to wipe out the weak and feeble, the evil, and establish mead halls of solid gold in my own honor. I am the burliest of all, for as far as the eye can see, I am truly brave of heart, I have looked straight into the face of death itself and laughed, then proceeded to ascend the throne. I live to devour devilish souls. Once, when my soldiers were swept out by the wrath of open water's waves, their lives at extreme risk, I swam swiftly to their sides and saw them safely back to shore, and yet I'm still young with much time to grow, gain great knowledge, and achieve greater goals. .
Over years of study, my knowledge has increased tenfold, my immense power has been used to build an unrivaled empire, who's thirst for conquering has yet to be quenched. I have conquered condos and beach houses, and toppled towers, erected forts by gleaming seas, vanquished sea beasts with the flick of my wrist, and wielded my trusty blade Sun-walker for the slaying of horrendous monsters. Sun-walker, forged by the rough hands of the mountain giants in centuries passed, was handed down from generation to generation in my family, and when I was finally of age, my noble father, Godric, bestowed the blade upon me for the purposes of exterminating and conquering. It has taken kindly to my hands, and has been my one true friend in battle. In my travels, I was tasked with the duty of slaying foul beasts who lived beneath my feet in the depths of hell. Once there, the temperature was almost as hot as the sun's, but I didn't melt because I have, in my possession, armor from God himself to protect me when doing his bidding. I then robbed the decaying beasts of their precious jewels to shower myself with rewards worthy of an amazing warrior like myself.
