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My Behavior Patterns

            A pattern of behavior that I've noticed in myself is that I tend to hold my anger in for a long time. I hold it in either until I forget about it or I literally explode. Usually I just forget about it but on a few occasions there have been times that I have exploded. Keeping the psychodynamic theory in mind the underlying issues that might indicate or symbolize my behavior might be caused from a lot of different things. .
             For starters, my mother has always been the type of person to say whatever comes to her mind at any given time and from an outsider looking in, I can see how that upsets the people around her. I always tell myself that I never want to be like my mom in the aspect that she is very hot headed, jumps to conclusions, and freaks out on everyone. When I hold my feelings in I tell myself its because I don't want to freak out and upset people like my mom does. I am probably deceiving myself in thinking I do this because of my moms actions though. Maybe it is just the way I am or maybe I took over my dad's genes when it comes to anger problems. My dad is very relaxed, calm, and passive aggressive. I've always liked that about him because I feel like I can go to him for anything without him being upset with me. Maybe I am more like my dad and not trying not to be like my mom. I've never really thought that could be the reason because I've suppressed all thoughts and notions that I could possibly be anything like my dad since he isn't the greatest human to walk this Earth. I think the fear of being like my dad has moved to my unconsciousness to dictate my behavior, but on the outside I blame it on not wanting to be like my mom. .
             The conscious contains all the information that a person is paying attention to at any given time. The preconscious contains all the information outside of a person's attention but readily available if needed. The unconscious contains thoughts, feelings, desires, and memories of which people have no awareness but that influence every aspect of their day-to-day lives.


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