Understanding the Distress of Children Who Suffer from Shyness Almost everyone has felt shy at some point in his or her life. Feeling uncomfortable or anxious in a new social setting is not uncommon or something to be overly concerned about; however, there are many people whose lives suffer because of their shyness. Shyness can have many harmful effects on a person's emotional and social well being (Bruch, 1999). Even though research on shyness has mainly focused on adults, shyness can be just as difficult, if not more difficult, for children. Because social and emotional development are so important during the school years as children are meeting and interacting with their peers, we see it as very important for teachers to be in tune with these types of developmental needs. Children's literature is a great way to bring up and discuss emotional and social issues. We found some wonderful children's books that teachers can use in the classroom to discuss shyness, how it affects people, and how to make others feel better who are shy. If you have ever known a truly shy child, you probably know how difficult being shy can be for that child. It can be very painful to see a shy child "desperately wanting to be accepted by other children yet not knowing what to do to gain their approval, or else too frightened to take the risk of trying to reach out to them" (Zimbardo, 1981, p. 4). A women expresses difficulty with having been a shy child: Growing up is painful at best, but excruciating for the shy. When others could not understand the reason for my lack of zest for life, I knew all along that my shyness was the real problem. I was terribly envious of anyone who seemed comfortable with people. Anyone who could express their thoughts verbally . . . (Zimbardo, 1981, p. 4). A child who is suffering from this much pain needs to be of concern. Anything that makes a child unhappy, such as being unpopular, not feeling comfortable around peers, and not being able to communicate thoughts or feelings directly, is hazardous to a person's psychological well being (Kemple, 1995).
