You know what really honks me off? Shopping carts! The sad fact is, I always seem to pick out the one that has only three functional wheels. You know the one, the one that actually appears to have a will and mind of its own, the one that insist on guiding you down the isle. I used to think this was simply bad luck, but then I noticed at the Wal-Mart store that they have a "Cart Person" a person who picks out the cart for you. I then realized that I must be the victim of some "Mad Cosmic Conspiracy" one that intended to torture me by way of shopping.
I noticed that people act very peculiar at the local Wal-Mart; it must be some type of herd mentality or something? I guess I am the type of guy that, when in close proximity to another human being, I feel I should at the very least, be neighborly enough to say hello. This usually takes most Wal-Mart shoppers by surprise; I have gotten some very disturbing reactions from a wide variety of people. .
Then there are those special people who inadvertently happen to run into their friends, relatives and neighbors at the local shopping center. These special folks almost always feel they are being "Put out" by your mere presence and your desire to infringe on their social visit, when all you really wanted was to get down the freaking aisle. .
The parking lot is a nightmare like no other. There seems to always be a dozen or so "Lot hawks" hovering over the parking lot searching for a fresh "Kill" and will go to any extreme to get that perfect spot! It always amazes me that I can park out in the back forty, walk a quarter of a mile to the store entrance, and the "Hawks" will still be hovering. .
After all is said and done, as I am sitting in my truck anxiously anticipating the end of another shopping adventure. I happen to notice the "Grand Daddy" of all bone-head maneuvers. Whenever the typical Wal-Mart shopper is finished loading all their sundries and supplies into their SUVs, they nonchalantly discard their shopping cart with a flick of the wrist, with little regard as to where it may end up.
