The so-called 'narcissistic personality disorder' is a complex and often misunderstood disorder. The cardinal feature of the narcissistic personality is the grandiose sense of self-importance, but paradoxically underneath this grandiosity the narcissist suffers from a chronically fragile low self-esteem. The grandiosity of the narcissist, however, is often so pervasive that people tend to dehumanize him or her. The narcissist conjures in us images of the mythological character Narcissus who could only love himself, rebuffing anyone who attempted to touch him. Nevertheless, it is the underlying sense of inferiority, which is the real problem of the narcissist; the grandiosity is just a facade used to cover the deep feelings of inadequacy.
The narcissist's grandiose behavior is designed to reaffirm his or her sense of adequacy. Since the narcissist is incapable of asserting his or her own sense of adequacy, the narcissist seeks to be admired by others. However, the narcissist's extremely fragile sense of self worth does not allow him or her to risk any criticism. Therefore, meaningful emotional interactions with others are avoided. By simultaneously seeking the admiration of others and keeping them at a distance the narcissist is usually able to maintain the illusion of grandiosity no matter how people respond. Thus, when people praise the narcissist his or her grandiosity will increase, but when criticized the grandiosity will usually remain unaffected because the narcissist will devalue the criticizing person.
In the case of the narcissist, it is the shattering of the archetypal image of the mother, which leads to the narcissistic manifestation. The primordial image of the mother symbolizes paradise, to the extent that the environment of the child is perfectly designed to meet his or her needs. No mother, however, can realistically fulfill the child's archetypal expectations. Nevertheless, so long as the mother reasonably fulfills the child's needs, he or she will develop 'normally'.
