Holden needs to be independent in order to feel in control of his life. His fear is being molded into society and becoming an adult. If he lets go of his independence and becomes dependent, then he will feel as though he is becoming a "phony" himself. Holden uses his independence as a type of comfort shield to protect his infantile traits. .
Holden wants to protect his infantile traits and dedicates his time searching for innocence and truth, mostly demonstrated by children. He views children as being part of one world, and adults being part of another. The reason Holden views children and adults so distinctly are because of his experience with his younger brother, Allie. Allie died as a young child and Holden feels as though his purity and innocence was stolen from him. As a result of his brother's death, Holden often tries to protect children and himself from corruption of the adult world. This is clearly seen when Holden erases the "F-you's" on the walls. "F-you" represents the vulgarity of the adult world and Holden does everything he can to protect his younger sister and the younger students from seeing this. Holden tries to preserve their youth so that it is not taken from them, the way it was taken from his brother. .
Although Holden tries to hold on to his innocence, he involves himself in adult activities such as sex, drugs, and alcohol. Unfortunately Holden is not any different from the perverted males of today and he thinks about sex all the time. He even comments that he is "the biggest sex manic you ever saw," (62). He is conceited in that he thinks he can lose his virginity when he pleases and that he just hasn"t got around to doing it. He involves himself in sexual activity such as hiring a prostitute. He does not sleep with her but the fact that he hired a prostitute to come to his room shows that he is a typical teenage boy seeking sexual affection and pleasure. Furthermore, Holden does not have intercourse with her because he is partly scared and does not want to lose his virginity to a prostitute.
