I'm thinking of a word that is deceiving because it contradicts it's own meaning. Heraclitus once said, "Nothing is permanent but change."" If choosing to change oneself a person is choosing to change their destiny, and that option is always present. In the novel Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte presents life as a process of change, and demonstrates it through a relationship in which change took place and there were pleasant results, and the parallel relationship based upon refusal to change and it's faulty outcome. A similar theme is present in the novel Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, however instead of relationships, it deals with the introduction of new ideas or situations that are either accepted and dealt with, or rejected. The reason for lack of change in both novels was fear, pride, and reluctance to let go of the past.
The young Catherine of Wuthering Heights had utter contempt for Hareton Earnshaw initially because he was virtually illiterate and savage. Over time however, the two became close friends and lovers, all as a result of Hareton's willingness to learn to read and become a gentleman, and Catherine's willingness to disregard her arrogance and teach him. A direct quote representing the change that took place in Catherine is, "and I was miserable and bitter at everybody; but, now I thank you, and beg you to forgive me, what can I do besides?- (Pg. 322) One night they were each calling the other a witch or a dog, and the next they were sitting comfortably in front of the fire reading together. By the conclusion of the book they were engaged. It is plain to see what fortune the readiness to change brought upon Catherine and Hareton. At one point in Things Fall Apart, the main character Okonkwo and his family were exiled to spend 7 years in another village. This took a great deal of change for the family, and they chose to make the best of the situation at hand. This earned them respect and additional allies.
