Our self concept will then become distorted and prevent us being a fully functioning person this can lead to the need for therapy. .
I can relate to this in my own life. My ex wife was having an affair for several years during this time I was totally incongruent. Out of synch with my own self. I knew the affair was happening but couldn't and wouldn't face up to the problem. I would take into my self-concept what my wife was telling me, that she was not having an affair. I would be constantly told I was "being stupid- everything I said I was humiliated. I was given no positive regard at all and this destroyed any self worth I had (positive self regard). I truly believed that what she told me to be the truth. (Introjects) I didn't want to believe this was happening so I would deny and distort the facts, thinking things like "she would never do this to me, its my imagination."" This led to a total loss of my self-esteem, causing me anxiety and depression, at this stage I was referred to a counsellor. .
My first session came as quite a shock, I was used to being judged, never listened to, and constantly lied to. Now this person (the counsellor) appeared to really care and listen to me (empathy), she never gave her opinion or judged me (unconditional positive regard) She seemed transparent and genuine with me and on the same level, she didn't seem to put up any front or fazade, (congruence). At the beginning of my therapy I was very suspicious but over the next few months I began to feel some self-worth. The way in which the counsellor used the three core conditions allowed my trust to develop and grow over the following three years. Thus enabling me to explore and own my inner most feelings and thoughts and to begin to self-actualize realizing my Organismic-self. Rogers states that, "A self-directed growth process would follow the provision and reception of a particular kind of relationship characterised by genuineness, non-judgmental caring, and empathy.