My Dad

When tropical storm Frances came, the water rose up four inches over the street so we needed to park the cars somewhere else. Brandt had a fit when he found out we had parked in the grass and immediately moved them to the open lot next door. He doesn't like anything on the floor or on his perfectly cut grass. .
             He remembers everything and has it all in order. His clothes are always folded a certain way. His 8 tracks are always in alphabetical order, so he notices if anything has been tampered with. He is most effective at noticing if any of his beers are gone or if the refrigerator needs to be restocked with beer. He buys three cases at a time of what used to be Pearl beer and now is owned by Corona. He is also good at remembering when I'm grounded or have chores to do and loves reminding my mom about it so I get in trouble. .
             I know he cares about me though. I mean, who else cares so much that they would belt their kid for not eating their vegetables. Plus, he keeps us in shape by making us drag trees for eight hours only to burn them later. He fed my fish once too, but it died the next day. My mom said it must have been overfed. He is also considerate enough to lock the doors at night to keep all of our belongings safe. For some reason though, it seems to be only when I run away and hide in a tree or somewhere else in the neighborhood. If for some reason he wants me in the house or out of the tree he is surprisingly patient with this operation. For instance, once he waited 3 ½ hours at the base of a tree, belt in hand, until I submitted. I didn't really submit but my bladder got too weak so I hopped down and ran for dear life, taking two blows to the rear in the process. My step dad is never in a hurry and even less so when everybody else is. He loves to drag out conversations or meetings when people need to go. His longest conversations are usually with me and they last for hours. He seems to enjoy giving me endless lectures about anything and everything as if I don't have anything better to do.