Men, Are They Really Human?

            
             Isn't it amazing how the brain can register the sound of something that we have never heard before and know what it is the very first time we"re hearing it? Bats make a very distinct sound when the fly. Birds can fly with wings soundlessly. Bats flap. I know this to be true from personal bedroom experience. Yes, you read that right. I have personal experience in my bedroom, with bats. It wasn't pleasant. Allow me to explain.
             The remodeling bug had bitten my husband. He had the entire upstairs torn apart, walls and all. It's not that I"m complaining, I love his finished work. It's the mess in the process that I could live happily without. The day had been long, the work hard. We had finally crawled into bed and my husband was soon asleep. I like to read in bed, so after a couple chapters, I turned off the lights and followed him into dreamland. I"m not sure when I went from fast asleep to half-awake, but I do remember my brain nudging me with the persistence of an animal in heat, "There's a bat in the room. There's a bat in the room!" Between the distinct flapping sound, my brain whispering the obvious truth, and the light breeze I could feel, it didn't take long for me to become fully awake and dive headfirst under the blankets to find myself head to mid-chest with my snoring husband. .
             I wasn't nudging him lightly when I started yelling, "Get up! There's a bat in the room!" .
             Now, I've heard from others that this man is fairly intelligent. On occasion, I've even thought so myself. But when he turned to me in bed and said, "What do you mean a bat? What kind of bat?" I had to start doubting my sources. .
             "The kind that needs to be outside!" I was losing my patience quickly. His brain may register a little slower than mine, but he woke up completely as the bat flew back past our heads, hit the wall above our bed, bounced off and headed over us for a second time. He looked manly in his briefs as he searched for a stray pillowcase to trap the intruder in, while I ducked out and headed for a broom to end the little buggers life with.